Polywog

February 13, 2008

Making Room.

Filed under: women's history — polywog @ 11:13 p02

 

As a poet, a dancer, a painter, there is room for periods of deep sadness, joy, reflection. Room for stillness or dwelling on the simple and sacred. Room to move slowly and let life enter. Room to be still. Room to fall or dissolve as in water or air. As a historian, a feminist, a social scientist, an activist, we braid and unbraid ideologies. Pick this up and put it over there. Go get that. No not that. Feminism is a bucket. Stonewall a wrench. Sacco and Vanzetti is a spoon. Get the spoon and throw it in the bucket: Emma Goldman’s sadness hits metal and ricochets down Christopher St. Put the mad transwoman in a bucket. Carry her soaked in police blood down Christopher St. 1969. Wash your hands in the bucket in 2008.

Buckets and streets and spoons and people push up against sharp letters, sharp words, too much, like rope tying up too many things. History marches like a chain gang tied with letters like rope. There is no space, no room to breathe. How does history rest? How can history bend over and pant, elbows on knees, how can history feel its heart in its throat? How do I make room for sadness here? How do I make room for the beautiful? How do I make room for dwelling?

 

I am immersed in the life of the text. Sometimes I believe diligence and practice in the life of the text will lead to my liberation. I eat an apple. I don’t know what. Listen. More carefully. I’m shifting and wanting something though I can’t yet get at what it is. It is in my mouth, moist on my tongue. It is filling my heartspace and dripping down my back and echoing against some hollow rib cage. What is it? It is simpler than a desire to be simple. A desire to not get tied up in things? Even ideas can be things. I’m only allowed to touch ideas that are not things. I can touch apple. I can touch baby. I can hold my foot in the air. Lean on my back and eat the sky. Watch goose bumps grow on arms. I can submerge my face underwater of another person’s heart.

Womanism is attractive to me because it is accessible, earthy, and non-ideological.

June Jordan and Audre Lorde appeal to me because of their integration of poetry and essay, embodied sensuality/sexuality leading to whole way of being in the world, an ethic in life. The body and social justice. Now that i think about it, I learned about the history of Grenada through both of them.

Theories of embodiment get complicated

bell hooks has shaped my world view more than any other single individual

I’m afraid of primary sources

I’m curious about “long history”

That’s all for now.

 

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1 Comment »

  1. What wonderful poetry Love. You make my ears tingle, my heart jump, and my breath stop. Your words are a jungle, a fire, a canyon and raven.

    I am calm, yet at this moment the cafe is fast.

    Keep writing.

    Comment by eug — February 15, 2008 @ 11:13 p02 | Reply


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